So, Speaking Of...

Movies

2008-04-24T10:30:00.004-04:00

With two kids under the age of 3, it's a little difficult to find time to watch movies (well, movies that don't star a talking bear, monkey, or androgynous, fuzzy monster anyway), so "Film School in Three Lines or Less" is a fantastic time saver. My personal favorite is Citizen Kane:

CHARLES FOSTER KANE: I'm dying now. I miss my childhood.

REPORTER: Wealth and power have truly made you an asshole.

WORKER: No one cares if I burn this sled, right?

It's Like "The Village" Only Without the Crappy Ending (oh, wait, this one ends poorly too.)

2008-04-24T08:47:00.003-04:00

I must confess I haven't been following the Texas polygamy story too closely (to paraphrase Papa Simpson, I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my polygamists confined to porn movies set in the not too distant future), but this headline grabbed my attention: "Texas tries to ease polygamist kid's culture shock." Which got me very curious, how much did these kids know about the outside world? I mean, they knew there was an outside world, right? But did they know the details, or just that it was full of processed-food and monogamy? I'd love to see a reality show of these kids in foster care. Cause, really, they're pretty much screwed up already right, what's a little exploitation for my entertainment at this point?

Now or Never for Hillary?

2008-04-23T15:10:00.002-04:00

I've been struggling to figure out why Hillary remains in the race when it is virtually impossible for her to overtake Obama in elected delegates or popular vote. The only option I could come up with is she's staying in on the chance that some revelation (eg proof that he snorted cocaine off a dead hooker's body in Pittsburgh friday night) completely destroys Obama's campaign. This theory
makes some sense, too.

It's also possible that she's become Apollo Creed, pre-beach hug with Rocky, of course.

You Can't Spell Traumatropism without "T & A"

2008-04-23T14:40:00.003-04:00

The simpatico Erin Andrews (that actually is the proper use of simpatico...the things you learn researching boob jokes) is now the official "sideline reporter" for the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. This is the best news for the contests since Anurag Kashyap decided not to enter in 2006. Think about it, there is a very good chance that a sideline interview with the comely Andrews is the only time in these contests lives that an attractive woman will talk to them. Well, except for Nicolas S. de Leon, of course. He's a hottie!

We're back, baby!

2008-04-23T10:52:00.002-04:00

Allow me a moment to welcome me back.

I just hope that I can reach you kids before that Vice-Principal Woodman gives me the boot for my nutsy cuckoo ways.

Big Whiffer!

2006-10-12T17:13:00.000-04:00

I did something like this in junior high once. Earned me a nickname that stuck with me through high school. Soccerball misser. Not terribly creative in Alabama.

Battle of the Album Covers

2006-10-10T10:01:00.000-04:00

this is pretty well-done.

Jack Killed Mom

2006-10-06T09:31:00.000-04:00

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins. This is the best recording I've been able to find so far.

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Where's Mel Gibson now?!?!

2006-09-20T08:35:00.000-04:00

Borat

2006-08-08T16:58:00.000-04:00

This looks NOT terrible.

Oh-to-to

2006-07-29T21:45:00.000-04:00

This may be the most genius "web list" I've ever seen. I mean, genius may be an understatement.

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Attn: Entrepeneurs
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Censorship

2006-07-28T15:39:00.000-04:00

Sweet Caroline

2006-07-18T12:11:00.000-04:00

The Italian Stallion!

2006-07-11T14:58:00.000-04:00

He's back baby!! No, seriously. I'm not kidding. You can check out the trailer here.

I've just got two things to say.

1. Honestly? The trailer doesn't look half bad. And I appreciate the fact they called it Rocky Balboa, as they to are pretending that Rocky V never happened.

2. If it were my call, I'd just release the below clip on a 90 minute loop. I'd go see it. I mean, does it get any better than this? I don't see how it's possible. Am I the only one who wanted to go run up a snow covered mountain and lift bails of hay and cut timber and scream "No pain! No pain! No pain!" to myself after seeing this? Good times. Rock-y! Rock-y! Rock-y!

EDIT: Ok, I stand corrected. This is better.

Maurice Clarett

2006-07-07T18:58:00.000-04:00

And I know you were. Speaking of Maurice Clarett that is. There's so much about this story that I love, it would actually take less time to tell you the things that I don't love.

Ok, there's nothing I don't love. I HIGHLY recommend checking out the EIFL website. I'm so asking for an EIFL football for Christmas.

Relationships

2006-07-07T12:50:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong that I wish I had someone to break up with so I could use this - http://www.dabreakupsong.com
In lieu of an actual mate, I've already broken up with myself, Tonya, and Iesha (In trying to come up with names I suddenly thought about that ABC song "Iesha"...hee hee good times).

Caught in the Crossfire

2006-07-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

So my sister had not seen this clip of Jon Stewart on Crossfire - so, uh, here it is.

The King and Koizumi

2006-07-01T07:03:00.000-04:00

Brief, yet lovely photo-essay of Japanese PM Koizumi paying his respects to the real leader of the free world (hey, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong and I'm pretty sure that's more people than voted for Bush in 2000).

The Sports Guys

2006-06-27T10:07:00.000-04:00

Yesterday the Sports Guy on Espn.com compiled his list of the best youtube videos ever. How the star wars nerds aren't on there, I'll never no, but there's still great stuff to be seen.

My favorite of the list? The "Whatzupwitu" video, if only because I had completely forgotten it ever happened. Kind of like I've forgotten that I owned Eddie's "Put Your Mouth On Me" album. What, who wrote that? Prank caller, prank caller!

It's funny 'cause it's true

2006-06-22T10:37:00.000-04:00

From Thebrushback.com (it's like the Onion for sports):

Reuben Droughns Apologizes To Teammates For Assaulting Wife

CLEVELAND--Running back Reuben Droughns apologized to his Cleveland Browns teammates yesterday for assaulting his wife last month. Droughns promised that it would never happen again and said he was “deeply regretful” about the distraction it caused to the team.
“I just want to say to my teammates and coaches that I’m sorry for assaulting my wife,” said Droughns, who was charged with throwing his wife out the door of their Denver home. “Domestic abuse is a terrible thing because it can cause a lot of distractions for the team. It definitely won’t happen again, no matter how much my wife pisses me off, because I don’t want to get arrested and put the team in the difficult position of having to replace me.”
Droughns has also agreed to appear in a public service announcement in which he educates other football players on the dangers of beating up your wife when you’re the team’s best option at running back.

Greatest clips ever

2006-06-16T09:42:00.000-04:00

In honor of Entertainment Weekly's ranking of the greatest internet videos ever, I had to post my favorite from their list. There are at least 5 jokes that make me cry on this thing.

G to the Wizzle

2006-06-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

It's random, it's a cartoon, it's rap, it's George Washington, bitch.

Boiler Room

2006-06-14T09:09:00.000-04:00

This phone call is pretty entertaining. Poor Josh, he's so on his first day and already freaking out about paying back his $4,000 monthly advance and praying the cops don't find that dead hooker in his apartment.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2006-06-13T10:09:00.000-04:00

This video is oddly hypnotic.

The World Cup

2006-06-08T20:17:00.000-04:00

So I have been thinking about getting into the World Cup this year (which as you all know start Friday). If it is anything like this, it is gonna rock!

The most important issue facing the country

2006-06-07T10:05:00.000-04:00

According to Senator David Vitter (R) at least. Here's a very interesting point-by-point audio response by Andrew Sullivan to the President's address regarding the proposed Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, or as I like to call it "The Sorry-about-my-immigration-proposal Make-up Act of 2006"

Kathy Griffin

2006-06-06T08:53:00.000-04:00

Just called Ann Coulter a "nutbag" on the Today show. Come on, how can you not like Kathy?

And now let's go to the tape...

Lost

2006-06-06T08:24:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly, a quick theory on that creepy 4-toed statue. They think it's a reference to this poem (be sure to scroll down and read the 'remake' of the poem, it seems particularly relevant. I think they've got a good match and it seems consistent with my theory that exact origins of the statue aren't important and that we'll likely never find out what it's about. I think it's simply meant to show us that the island has a long, strange history that predates the current goings on by hundreds of years. And to keep us talking about the damn show for 3 months.

Golf, Part II

2006-06-04T18:36:00.000-04:00

With apologys to the midnight bomber at The Memorial, I think this may actually be a more impressive hole in one.

Golf

2006-06-04T18:16:00.000-04:00

News from Saturday morning's round at The Memorial. Needless to say, I don't think Jim Nantz mentioned this.

It was an unusual day on the course...Mickelson returned to the sixth hole to find the cup had moved in the middle of the second round. Turns out someone defecated in the hole, and the only solution was to move it a few feet, along with the ball markers on the green. Toronto Sun, June 4

I can only hope the perp walked off the green with "Put me down for a 2."

Laughing

2006-06-02T16:34:00.000-04:00

I think we could all use a little more brown sugar in our lives.

Spelling

2006-06-01T14:18:00.000-04:00

In honor of tonight's Scripps National Spelling Bee Finals - Broadcast live on ABC in HD! You can almost smell the social awkwardness. - it's the heroic spellations of Akshay Buddiga. Down goes Buddiga!

I mean he just pops back up and nails that shite out of the park.
How do you spell "resolve"? Well if you ask me, it's A-k-s-h-a-y.

Good politics

2006-06-01T12:03:00.000-04:00

While it's certainly too early to know whether this group has any hope of being an '08 footnote, let alone a force of any kind, it's certainly talking an interesting game.

Unity08 divides issues facing the country into two categories: Crucial Issues – on which America’s future safety and welfare depend; and Important Issues – which, while vital to some, will not, in our judgment, determine the fate or future of the United States.

In our opinion, Crucial Issues include: Global terrorism, our national debt, our dependence on foreign oil, the emergence of India and China as strategic competitors and/or allies, nuclear proliferation, global climate change, the corruption of Washington’s lobbying system, the education of our young, the health care of all, and the disappearance of the American Dream for so many of our people.

By contrast, we consider gun control, abortion and gay marriage important issues, worthy of debate and discussion in a free society, but not issues that should dominate or even crowd our national agenda.

In our opinion – since the disintegration of the Soviet Union – our political system seems to have focused more attention on the “important issues” than the “crucial issues.” One result: The political parties have been built to address the interests of their “base” but have failed to address the realities that impact most Americans.

Politics

2006-05-31T23:09:00.000-04:00

I wish I lived in North Carolina, more specifically the Winston-Salem region, because I don't think I could ever get enough of congressional candidate Vernon Robinson. Unless of course he actually won...that would kind of kill the fun of the whole thing.

Just to confirm this guy was legit I googled him and found his campaign website. I don't think I really need a joke here.

Basketball

2006-05-31T20:39:00.000-04:00

There is nothing better than the full-court buzz-beater to win. Ok, maybe there's one thing.

Alito proud member of CAP?

2006-01-10T10:35:00.000-05:00

10:20 - Alito puts membership of Concerned Alumni Princeton (Princeton group that opposed admitting women and minorities to University) on job application - now claims can't remember being a member of group.

Revelation of the Confirmation Hearings

2005-09-15T10:43:00.000-04:00

Roberts asks Schumer to look at his briefs. Saucy.

Roberts: The Confirmation

2005-09-13T09:10:00.000-04:00

9:32 - Spector jumps right into abortion, with the importance of precedent to the Casey decision. Roberts talks about factors to consider in overturning cases, including erosion of precedent.
Spector asks if Roe has been eroded - Roberts refuses to answer.

9:38 - Spector notes that Casey stated that overruling Roe would weaken the legitimacy of the Court, asks if Roberts agrees.
Roberts agrees that legitimacy of the Court is a real consideration, it is a "jolt to the legal system" when you overturn precedent - the prior decision being wrongly decided isn't enough.

9:45 - Spector holds up 10 foot board noting the 38 cases in which the Court could have overturned Roe, but did not. Asks if that created a "super stare decisis" situation.
Roberts notes that simply having the chance to overturn isn't the same as really considering the underlying issues.

9:48 - Spector asks about Roberts personal views, does he agree with JFK who said "I do not speak for my religion and it does not speak for me."
Yes, Roberts agrees.

9:50 - Spector asks about Roberts comment about the "so-called right to privacy....that such an amorphous right is not found in the Constitution."
Roberts agrees that the concept of right to privacy is in the 1st and 4th and the greatest of all (in Ferguson's opinion), the 3rd. "So-called right to privacy" is not a reflection of his opinion.

9:54 - Roberts emphasizes again that whether a case should be overruled is a different question from whether a case was correctly decided.

9:57 - Spector asks if the tradition of liberty is a living thing.
Roberts says yes.

10:00 - The Dems have their turn, Leahy begins with a question about the balance of power, referencing a memo Roberts wrote in 1982 that questions the role of Congress is decreeing when a conflict (Lebanon) ends.
Commercial for Window Factory of America interrupts response. Those are nice windows.

10:15 - Roberts noted that the reason that many, himself included, admire Justice Jackson was because he advocated very strongly for his president when AG for FDR and then decided many cases contrary to opinions expressed when he was an AG. He realized his job was different as Justice. Possible foreshadowing or crafty maneuver?

10:33 - Hatch asks what type of Judge is Roberts, e.g. Strict Interpretation, literalist.
Roberts says he prefers to catagorize himself as a "modest judge." Notes that "2/3 of senate" warrents a literal reading, much tougher for "unreasonable search and seizure."

10:35-11:35 - Can't pay attention with red-faced baby crying...no, not Ted Kennedy, my actual baby.

Hearings on 15 minute break.

4:08 - Sorry, I began taking a shot everytime Roberts said "stare decisis"...I think I passed out there for a while.

Hurricanes

2005-09-06T11:36:00.000-04:00

Now that Katrina has killed 1,000s of people, do you think the Miami Hurricanes will change their name a la the Washington Bullets? Remember, bullets don't kill people, violent hurricane refugees kill people.